On
December 29th in my last gathering with inmates in 2013 I witnessed
light shining in darkness and the kindness of God that leads to repentance
simultaneously. I share this Epiphany
story in celebration of God’s appearing among us in Jesus.
The good
news of God’s Word became visible in a jail bible study on Titus 3, read
together with 15 men. Since the
men had just missed Christmas with their families and were mostly all en route
to prison I knew they had no need to be reminded to be subject to rulers, authorities
and to be obedient. I didn’t want them even glancing at Titus 3:1-2 that day,
and asked someone to begin reading at Titus 3:3:
“For
we also once were foolish ourselves, disobedient, deceived, enslaved to various
lusts and pleasures, spending our life in malice and envy, hateful, hating one
another.”
Amazed
by how this verse describes many people’s lives I suddenly see that I need to
emphasize Paul and Titus’ identification with the men as a way to establish
trust between the Biblical writer and them.
“It
looks like the writer and his community here come from hard backgrounds that
might have included addictions, criminal behavior and vida loca-gangster ways,”
I start out.
Much
of the list describing Paul and Titus’ past messed up lives seems clear enough,
but I ask them if they know what “malice” means.
“Isn’t
it badness or evil?” someone says.”
“Exactly. The writer here is coming from a
troubled past life, but now things have changed,” I continue. “Have any of you guys
experienced these kinds of things, hating and being hated, enslaved to
different lusts and pleasures? I bet we all know people who have, don’t we?” I
ask.
The
men are all nodding, and a few comment that this verse describes their current lives. Suddenly I’m struck by a truth not
directly related to this verse. I
turn to a wiry tatted-up Latin-looking gang guy to my right and say:
“You
know God has a special love for violent men and wants to help them. He goes after them and never gives up
on them so they can say what’s being said here—that this was their former
life” I say, a bit surprised by my growing passion.
The guy is startled. “How did you know?” he asked. “Nearly
all my past offences and the jail and prison time I’ve served have been for assaults
due to my violence. I have been hated and people hate me now.”
He went on to complain that
he is currently being charged for something he didn’t do. “This fills me with
hate and I don’t know what to do to get out of this. They’re wanting to send me way for a long time again,” he
said.
I shake my head,
sympathizing as best I can, remembering that our thirty minutes are now more
than half over and others are there in the circle with their own struggles and
needs to hear good news.
“That sounds really
difficult and unfair and we must pray for you if you’d like before the guards
come,” I say. But let’s look at
the next verses first. I ask
someone to read from Titus 3:4 onward, stopping him after the first few words
of verse 5:
“But
when the kindness of God our Savior and his love for mankind appeared, He saved us.”
“Check
this out you guys,” I say. “What
happens here and who benefits?”
“It
says here that God’s kindness appears and that he loves mankind and saves us.”
“These
guys who once were all messed up in addictions, full of hatred and being hated
by everyone are telling about what happened—that God was kind to them in a
special way. I wonder if it tells
us what they had to do in order to benefit. Could someone keep reading so we can see what kind of hoops
they had to jump through to get God’s help?” I ask.
A
Latino gang guy to my left reads the next verses with a strong Spanish accent
and I ask him to stop after the first line:
“Not
on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness.”
We
talk briefly about how God’s kindness, love and saving are not a reward
for good behavior, compliance with laws or success at getting your act together. Romans 2:4 comes to mind, where Paul
prohibits judging and states so strongly to the unkind: “do you think lightly
of the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that
the kindness of God leads you to repentance?”
But
there’s no time to read this verse and I ask the guy to continue reading from
where we left off in Titus 3:5 “but according to His mercy, by the washing of
regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out upon us richly
through Jesus Christ our Savior.”
Each
word spoken seems like a perfectly shot arrow, hitting the targets of men’s hearts. What better news can there be than
this?! Good News is penetrating
and I can feel it in the room.
It’s what I long to witness over and over. I ask if anyone feels a need to be washed clean.
The
guy to my right says “I do for sure.
I take four showers a day in here, and it doesn’t make any difference at
all. I still feel the same.”
He
tells me what the others already know, that his street name is Guilty. I am deeply moved, overcome by
affection, sensing Jesus right there with us. Knowing that only a few minutes
remain before the guards arrive to take everyone back to their cells I
summarize the next verse.
“Before
we pray let’s check out this next verse you guys. It says ‘that being justified by His grace we might be made
heirs according to the hope of
eternal life.’ Being justified
means being made alright, acquitted, totally clean and righteous before
God. Do any of you guys want
this? Do you feel a need to be
washed by Jesus’ love and by the Holy Spirit being poured out?”
Each
man around the circle says that they do, including Guilty who’s leaning forward
in his chair beside me.
I
remind them that when Jesus washes us clean it is totally by grace, and that
it’s an absolutely free gift. “Jesus
makes us right with God, brings us into God’s family with all the
benefits—including living forever. Paul wants to be so sure that people
understand this that he states it super clearly in the next verse. Could someone read verse 8?”
“This
is a trustworthy statement; and concerning these things I want you to speak
confidently.”
I
invite the guys to choose to believe, to be confident that God’s kindness and
love for them are real and true. I
invite anyone who wants to say yes to God’s love, to receive his cleansing
forgiveness by opening their hands and hearts. The men have their palms out and
are receiving as I pray for the Holy Spirit to be poured out upon them. I pray for mercy and legal
breakthroughs for Guilty, and the door pops open just as we’re through.
The
kindness of God has just appeared and saved and I head home
delighted—experiencing Epiphany a week ahead of the official date. May you experience light of God’s love
shining on you and washing you clean now as you begin 2014.
